Happiness isn’t a secret, and it doesn’t just happen. It takes a little effort on your part, but the reward is worth it. Here are 10 things that happy people tend to do.
1. Appreciate The Details
Happy folks tend to find joy in simple things – the brief moments or tiny details of life that otherwise pass us by in a blur of busy days. Appreciating the little things means you’ve become present. Find comfort in a warm cup of tea, find peace in tidying your home, or find gratitude in each breath. Peace can be found in the moment.
2. Know What You Can’t Change
“Let Go Or Be Dragged”. When we understand that we are not always in control of our circumstances, we can focus on what we do have control over: our selves. We can be entirely responsible for what we are feeling, and how we react, and we can re-gain our sense of control by shifting perspective.
3. Respect the Self
Self. Capital “S”. The Self is the part of us that has “gut” feelings, intuition, and sense of who we actually are – even when we aren’t sure what that means. The Self is the part of us that’s always asking “why”? The Self is the part of you that cringes when you ignore your instinct, the part of you that needs nurturing when you are burnt out by life, and the part of you that deserves to be heard and respected by every other little voice in your head.
4. Be Honest
Relax, you don’t have to eliminate your social filters. For this list, honesty means authenticity. Having hard conversations with yourself about reality vs. wishful thinking. Making choices based on those conversations with yourself, and being a grown up about the results. Self-honesty means we remove our delusion and take off the rose-coloured glasses for some good old-fashioned realness. It’s hard, but honesty makes us stronger.
5. Think Before You Speak
Is it Truthful? Is it Honest? Does it Inspire? It is Necessary? Is it Kind? However you’d like to break it down, if your words don’t hit at least 3 of these categories, your silence may indeed be golden. Take a beat between thought and word, and practice being a good listener.
6. Live and Let Live
You know this one. It’s the Golden Rule, really. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. You don’t have to agree with everyone, but you do have to make room for them to do their thing if you want room to do yours. You just do you, the world will keep turning. Happy people live and let live.
7. Avoid The Drama
You know exactly where to find it in your life – or maybe you’re the cause of it, hmm? (See #5). There are people in this world who feed on the attention of others, and they usually elicit the desired response in their tribe through the use of histrionics and passive-aggression. Only you are in control of how you feel, how you react, how you behave. If you’re surrounded by drama llamas, it’s time to find a new crowd. If some self-honesty has enlightened you as to your own shady ways, you can reform now that you’ve seen the light. Down with drama!
8. Make Time For What You Need
Some self-honesty will help you identify what that “need” is. Some folks spend so much time taking care of others, what they need is to be looked after and taken care of, but they’ll be the last person to admit such a thing. Happy people tend to spend some time analyzing themselves before looking for outside causes of suffering. Everyone needs a good kickstart, but motivation is hard to come by some days. If you look deep enough, you’ll know what you need. Go get it. You deserve to be fulfilled.
9. Own It
Okay, so you were honest with yourself, you cut out the drama, you looked deep in your soul and found that you need a LOT. Owning It means you aren’t afraid to face the work that needs to be done – on yourself, your life, your relationships, etc. Owning your life is taking responsibility, and being proud of the muscle you build putting in all that hard work. Be the captain of your own ship. Be ready to own every choice you make, for better or worse.
10. Stay Connected
This can mean different things to different people. You might have a strong tribe or support system that keeps you grounded, or maybe you need that time to yourself to really connect with that inner voice we keep going on and on about. Whatever gets you in touch with reality, connect to it. Reach out to loved ones, discuss your ideas & thoughts with a journal or confidante, plug in to your surroundings and community. Happy people connect within and without.